Recently I've had several reasons to go through some old photos. It's been a part time project since last August to sift through the thousands of photos I've taken and collected over the years, saving only the best in order to have them digitized. Also, I've been looking for a photo of Calvin when he was little to use for the childhood portrait I want to do for Calvin and Vicki's wedding. Then Corey called the other night and needed "as a huge favor" photos to complete a video project about Home.
Looking at old photos is both pleasure and pain. Pleasure in the fun and memories. Pain in watching my smooth-skinned, youthful appearance "age gracefully". Every year there are a few more wrinkles, especially neck wrinkles and this chin thing that my brother so delicately refers to as the turkey wattle. Where did that come from?
One thing that is quite evident from the past twenty years or so, is that my kids have had some very good times! Birthdays, holidays, vacations, summer fun in the pool, winter snow piled high, Easter baskets, crazy homemade birthday cakes, beach trips, Florida trips, poses with the dog, friends, each other, year after year after year and always with big smiles on their faces.
I couldn't help but think--so much joy! I must have done something right. Something that makes the wrinkles seem worth it.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
A Rose by any Other Name
My brother sent me an email this morning. He had written today's date and remembered that our parents were married on this day sixty-one years ago. He said moments like this always left him feeling a bit sad. Just prior to getting his email, I had remarked to my co-worker that today was my parents' anniversary. My brother and I had the same thought at practically the same time.
A shared thought is not so unusual for us. It's happened before. Mom's name was Rose--short for Rosella. Often, for her birthday or Mother's Day, I would choose a card with roses on it. My brother would do the same. On several occasions, she received the exact same card from us even though we purchased them separately. After she passed away, we even found that our dreams about her were very similar.
Over the years there have been isolated moments when I've really felt her presence. I've built a tradition of making a wreath of roses and ribbon to take to the cemetery every Christmas since she passed away. Usually, my children, Henry or my father would go with me, but one year I went by myself, which was very unusual. Cedar Hill Cemetery is old, with narrow winding lanes and huge trees and large granite stones. As I turned a corner and went up the hill to the family plot, I was met both visually and aurally by the largest flock of crows I have ever seen. As I drove past, they slowly lifted from the ground into the air and just as slowly settled back down to the earth like a rolling wave. I really felt my mother's spirit in their greeting. I knew she was there.
For most events and experiences that I think Mom would have loved to have been a part of, my way of including her memory is to wear a necklace that my Dad gave to me the day she died. It's a simple gold chain with a miniature replica of a gold dollar coin. He said it was the last piece of jewelry that she wore.
Memories are the only thing that we can both hold close and share at the same time. But nothing changes the fact that we will always miss her.
A shared thought is not so unusual for us. It's happened before. Mom's name was Rose--short for Rosella. Often, for her birthday or Mother's Day, I would choose a card with roses on it. My brother would do the same. On several occasions, she received the exact same card from us even though we purchased them separately. After she passed away, we even found that our dreams about her were very similar.
Over the years there have been isolated moments when I've really felt her presence. I've built a tradition of making a wreath of roses and ribbon to take to the cemetery every Christmas since she passed away. Usually, my children, Henry or my father would go with me, but one year I went by myself, which was very unusual. Cedar Hill Cemetery is old, with narrow winding lanes and huge trees and large granite stones. As I turned a corner and went up the hill to the family plot, I was met both visually and aurally by the largest flock of crows I have ever seen. As I drove past, they slowly lifted from the ground into the air and just as slowly settled back down to the earth like a rolling wave. I really felt my mother's spirit in their greeting. I knew she was there.
For most events and experiences that I think Mom would have loved to have been a part of, my way of including her memory is to wear a necklace that my Dad gave to me the day she died. It's a simple gold chain with a miniature replica of a gold dollar coin. He said it was the last piece of jewelry that she wore.
Memories are the only thing that we can both hold close and share at the same time. But nothing changes the fact that we will always miss her.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Looking for the Sunshine
This winter has been too cold, too icy and too long. We passed through January in hibernation mode. It is the month of paying Christmas and tuition bills, assembling tax info, preparing for the FAFSA, and gathering financial documents for scholarship applications. One word sums it up nicely—UGH! With Corey entering his senior year in the fall, this is the last year for scrambling to meet FAFSA and scholarship deadlines. There is some measure of sunshine in that thought.
Another studio session started at our local art center, the Delaplaine. I opted to do color pencils again since I’m still working on a portrait of my mother that I started at the end of the last session. Once I finish, I’ll start on my idea for Calvin and Vicki’s wedding. I want to take an image of them both at around four years old and do a combined portrait to display on their wedding day and to have as a keepsake.
The wedding has definitely been on my mind. I’ve been thinking about the rehearsal dinner and getting a dress to wear to the wedding. Rehearsal dinner ideas have ranged from an informal gathering at one of our local wineries to a sit down dinner at one of my favorite Frederick restaurants, Monocacy Crossing, or perhaps one of Frederick’s wonderful downtown restaurants. I’ve even thought about breakfast or brunch—we don’t really know when the rehearsal will be and probably won’t until about April.
The mother of the groom dress hasn’t been more than a thought at this point. I’ve looked at some websites, checking out styles and colors. Not sure if I want to go long or short or something in between. I’m not very motivated by the thought of shopping, but I am motivated by the idea of having nothing to wear to the wedding!
January took Corey and Kimberly back to college and Angela off to her new job with the Richmond ballet. It’s nice to have two kids in the same place for at least a few months. This past weekend we headed to Richmond to deliver a much needed bed to Angela, see her new apartment and meet her roommates. We took a few things to Corey as well. Lunch at the Village Café with both kids and Corey’s roommate Brian was the day’s highlight. The food was great and the company was even better. It just felt good to be sitting there with the kids, visiting, eating and enjoying a break. It was definitely a sunshine moment.
Another studio session started at our local art center, the Delaplaine. I opted to do color pencils again since I’m still working on a portrait of my mother that I started at the end of the last session. Once I finish, I’ll start on my idea for Calvin and Vicki’s wedding. I want to take an image of them both at around four years old and do a combined portrait to display on their wedding day and to have as a keepsake.
The wedding has definitely been on my mind. I’ve been thinking about the rehearsal dinner and getting a dress to wear to the wedding. Rehearsal dinner ideas have ranged from an informal gathering at one of our local wineries to a sit down dinner at one of my favorite Frederick restaurants, Monocacy Crossing, or perhaps one of Frederick’s wonderful downtown restaurants. I’ve even thought about breakfast or brunch—we don’t really know when the rehearsal will be and probably won’t until about April.
The mother of the groom dress hasn’t been more than a thought at this point. I’ve looked at some websites, checking out styles and colors. Not sure if I want to go long or short or something in between. I’m not very motivated by the thought of shopping, but I am motivated by the idea of having nothing to wear to the wedding!
January took Corey and Kimberly back to college and Angela off to her new job with the Richmond ballet. It’s nice to have two kids in the same place for at least a few months. This past weekend we headed to Richmond to deliver a much needed bed to Angela, see her new apartment and meet her roommates. We took a few things to Corey as well. Lunch at the Village Café with both kids and Corey’s roommate Brian was the day’s highlight. The food was great and the company was even better. It just felt good to be sitting there with the kids, visiting, eating and enjoying a break. It was definitely a sunshine moment.
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