Often miss-attributed to either Horace Greeley, founder of the New York Tribune, or John B. L. Soule, an Indiana newspaper writer, this phrase kept echoing through my head as we drove to the airport. My anticipation of this day was not without some anxiety. How emotional would it be? The last thing I wanted was to have a total tear bath at the airport. I knew my emotions would be a mix of joy and sadness, but I was really feeling positive and happy. I was fine. Until we got to the airport and I saw Vicki and her family. Then I started to get a little teary-eyed.
I remember my boys’ first airplane ride alone in 2005. It was during the Florida years when trips to Orlando were routine. Now, they really were not that young—13 and just shy of 16, but I was still a nervous Mom, who had to see them all the way to the gate (with special permission) and repeatedly issue instructions to “call me the minute you land”. It was only a two-hour, non-stop flight and my Dad would be waiting for them, but it was a long two hours before the phone rang.
When Calvin flew to Seattle for his first internship, I was still quite the mother hen. Call me when you board the plane. Call me when you land in Detroit. Call me when you land in Seattle. Call me when you get to your apartment. And he did—all four times. The next spring when he went back for an interview for the second summer internship, I was more relaxed—call me when you get there. And the flight out for the second internship was much the same. Just call me when you get there.
But this trip to Seattle was on a one-way ticket. After some brief conversation between the families, the kids checked in and we headed for security. There was plenty of time so there was more chatting and then we had to give final hugs and goodbye kisses and that was hard. The kids wound their way through security while we jockeyed for the best vantage points to watch their bobbing heads take the twists and turns along the corral. Periodically we’d catch sight of each other, and then frenzied waving would ensue. They took their turn at the checkpoint, then gathered laptops back into bags, slipped shoes back onto feet, turned to wave at us moms who were by now standing on tiptoe, still waving, trying to catch every last glimpse before they disappeared around the bend.
Latest research indicates the quote “Go west, young man.” is most likely a paraphrase. The following quote was cited in a recent biography of Greeley: "If any young man is about to commence the world, we say to him, publicly and privately, Go to the West" (from the Aug. 25, 1838, issue of the newspaper New Yorker).
And so they headed west.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Last Weekend Home
During the years my parents lived in Florida, the kids and I would visit as often as we could. These visits were always preceded with my mom asking me what I would like to eat while I was there. I usually had no trouble rattling off all of my favorite dishes. She loved to cook for me and I loved her cooking. It was a perfect relationship.
Now I find myself doing the same. A visit home from college always brought about the question, “What would you like to eat?” College has a way of instilling a real appreciation for home cooking in most kids, mine included, so they always had some quick answers to that question.
Calvin and Vicki decided to spend their last weekend home with their families. Calvin’s last weekend home before the big Seattle send-off had to be special—especially food-wise. I think we created some new memories. Friday night’s request was fried catfish—a dish I hadn’t fixed in awhile so it was perfect with French fries and homemade coleslaw. I think my son Corey ate at least two pounds of fish. Saturday dinner was Mom’s choice, so I did slow cooked BBQ ribs with homemade mac & cheese and seasoned green beans. For dessert, Calvin picked peanut butter pie.
After dinner we played a board game, something new to us called “What’s Yours Like?” Henry won it from a radio station. It’s a guessing game based on clues given by the players and while totally innocent, the sexual innuendo can’t be helped so it kept us laughing.
We started Sunday morning with a platter of Monkey Bread and finished the day with Calvin’s final request, beef tenderloin steaks on the grill. Of course these had to be accompanied by Cathy-style potatoes (there's a story behind the name) and a fresh green salad. A lemon tart with shortbread crust and fresh raspberries ended our culinary venture.
Cathy and Andrew joined us for Sunday’s dinner, so it was quite a fun evening and even though we had an early airport call the next morning, we stayed up late playing “Pictionary”, one of our family’s all time favorites, simply because it makes us laugh so hard. We even save our favorite “classic” drawings, where a couple line strokes result in a split second correctly shouted answer, like “The Alamo”, while everyone else at the table is frantically looking at drawings and saying things like, “salamander” and “Ben Franklin”.
This weekend was a great throwback to the days when the kids were younger and we played a lot of games—just simple, relaxed fun, with a lot of laughter. What a great send-off! Seattle, here they come!
Now I find myself doing the same. A visit home from college always brought about the question, “What would you like to eat?” College has a way of instilling a real appreciation for home cooking in most kids, mine included, so they always had some quick answers to that question.
Calvin and Vicki decided to spend their last weekend home with their families. Calvin’s last weekend home before the big Seattle send-off had to be special—especially food-wise. I think we created some new memories. Friday night’s request was fried catfish—a dish I hadn’t fixed in awhile so it was perfect with French fries and homemade coleslaw. I think my son Corey ate at least two pounds of fish. Saturday dinner was Mom’s choice, so I did slow cooked BBQ ribs with homemade mac & cheese and seasoned green beans. For dessert, Calvin picked peanut butter pie.
After dinner we played a board game, something new to us called “What’s Yours Like?” Henry won it from a radio station. It’s a guessing game based on clues given by the players and while totally innocent, the sexual innuendo can’t be helped so it kept us laughing.
We started Sunday morning with a platter of Monkey Bread and finished the day with Calvin’s final request, beef tenderloin steaks on the grill. Of course these had to be accompanied by Cathy-style potatoes (there's a story behind the name) and a fresh green salad. A lemon tart with shortbread crust and fresh raspberries ended our culinary venture.
Cathy and Andrew joined us for Sunday’s dinner, so it was quite a fun evening and even though we had an early airport call the next morning, we stayed up late playing “Pictionary”, one of our family’s all time favorites, simply because it makes us laugh so hard. We even save our favorite “classic” drawings, where a couple line strokes result in a split second correctly shouted answer, like “The Alamo”, while everyone else at the table is frantically looking at drawings and saying things like, “salamander” and “Ben Franklin”.
This weekend was a great throwback to the days when the kids were younger and we played a lot of games—just simple, relaxed fun, with a lot of laughter. What a great send-off! Seattle, here they come!
Friday, July 23, 2010
The Daughter Collection
I have a daughter collection. I have two sons by birth, but through my previous marriage and a current serious relationship, I have acquired four stepdaughters. Soon I will add a daughter-in-law.
When I got married, two little girls, ages 7 and 6 came into my life and I loved them as if they were my own. Now, twenty-seven years later, I am still very close to the oldest, but after the youngest graduated from college in North Carolina, she found a job, married a local guy and decided to make it home. I seldom see her but hear news through her sister and I still send cards on her birthday and Christmas.
After marrying and enjoying my new family for a few years, we added Calvin and Corey to the mix. Even though the girls were somewhat older than the boys, I always encouraged the four kids to stay close, for besides their biological parents, they were each others closest blood relatives. This message became even more important after the girls became estranged from their father, whom I eventually divorced. I’ve often told my oldest step-daughter that family is not necessarily what you’re born into, it’s who you find along the way.
In 2002 Henry came into my life. He has two daughters, the same ages as my two sons. By this time though, our kids were teenagers and as teenagers are inclined, they were too entrenched in their own worlds to be particularly interested in each other. Besides, Henry’s daughters lived with their mother in Virginia and he visited them at their family home or at his home, also in Virginia, so there wasn’t a lot of opportunity to really get to know them before they went off to college. College brings a lot of changes and even though I still don’t see them often, I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other a little better through the college years.
Thursday was my future daughter-in-law’s birthday. Sadly, her parents missed her last birthday in Maryland before the big move and I know that was hard for all of them. (They were at her brother’s college orientation.) We took her out to dinner and I celebrated her with a toast to daughters. My daughters all have a story to tell. For some, I may be a big part of the story and for others perhaps a minor role. Family is not necessarily what you’re born into, it’s who you find along the way. I found five daughters.
When I got married, two little girls, ages 7 and 6 came into my life and I loved them as if they were my own. Now, twenty-seven years later, I am still very close to the oldest, but after the youngest graduated from college in North Carolina, she found a job, married a local guy and decided to make it home. I seldom see her but hear news through her sister and I still send cards on her birthday and Christmas.
After marrying and enjoying my new family for a few years, we added Calvin and Corey to the mix. Even though the girls were somewhat older than the boys, I always encouraged the four kids to stay close, for besides their biological parents, they were each others closest blood relatives. This message became even more important after the girls became estranged from their father, whom I eventually divorced. I’ve often told my oldest step-daughter that family is not necessarily what you’re born into, it’s who you find along the way.
In 2002 Henry came into my life. He has two daughters, the same ages as my two sons. By this time though, our kids were teenagers and as teenagers are inclined, they were too entrenched in their own worlds to be particularly interested in each other. Besides, Henry’s daughters lived with their mother in Virginia and he visited them at their family home or at his home, also in Virginia, so there wasn’t a lot of opportunity to really get to know them before they went off to college. College brings a lot of changes and even though I still don’t see them often, I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other a little better through the college years.
Thursday was my future daughter-in-law’s birthday. Sadly, her parents missed her last birthday in Maryland before the big move and I know that was hard for all of them. (They were at her brother’s college orientation.) We took her out to dinner and I celebrated her with a toast to daughters. My daughters all have a story to tell. For some, I may be a big part of the story and for others perhaps a minor role. Family is not necessarily what you’re born into, it’s who you find along the way. I found five daughters.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Moving Day
Long distance moves may be familiar to many, but not to this family. I’ve moved twice, never leaving Maryland. The first time was when I left home and moved into a house I bought with my brother (which I later bought from him); second time was after marriage and the birth of my two sons, when we decided we needed a bigger house, which is where I live today.
Calvin’s new job came with a relocation package, so there was probably a bit less stress than typical with this long distance move, simply because everything was handled by Microsoft. Both Calvin and Vicki’s furniture and Vicki’s car were all included in the move. Everything was packed for them as well. We just had to have Vicki’s car and furniture at our house before packing day, which also happened to be car pick-up day. A separate special crew came to pack Calvin’s big screen TV. Nothing was left to chance. Even boxes the kids had packed were repacked by the movers.
The moving van arrived the next day right on time. Now earlier in the week, Calvin had mentioned to me how exciting it would be to see that big truck pull up in front of the house. I had been weathering the emotional storm quite well until suddenly that moment. The tears came and I simply said, “No, it won’t”. But I really don’t believe that. This is what is supposed to happen. They are supposed to take flight.
It actually was exciting to see that big truck pull up in front of the house, however there was a momentary blur of tears—call it a coping mechanism. The driver and his helper, who turned out to be his nephew, were from Wisconsin and Calvin and Vicki were his first load. The process went smoothly with the driver expecting to head west Sunday after picking up a couple more loads. It was one thing to watch the moving van pull up to the house, but I didn’t want to be there to watch it pull away. I had taken a half day from work and it was time to get to the office. After saying “Thank you” and “Safe travels” to driver Dave, I left for work—call it a coping mechanism.
Calvin’s new job came with a relocation package, so there was probably a bit less stress than typical with this long distance move, simply because everything was handled by Microsoft. Both Calvin and Vicki’s furniture and Vicki’s car were all included in the move. Everything was packed for them as well. We just had to have Vicki’s car and furniture at our house before packing day, which also happened to be car pick-up day. A separate special crew came to pack Calvin’s big screen TV. Nothing was left to chance. Even boxes the kids had packed were repacked by the movers.
The moving van arrived the next day right on time. Now earlier in the week, Calvin had mentioned to me how exciting it would be to see that big truck pull up in front of the house. I had been weathering the emotional storm quite well until suddenly that moment. The tears came and I simply said, “No, it won’t”. But I really don’t believe that. This is what is supposed to happen. They are supposed to take flight.
It actually was exciting to see that big truck pull up in front of the house, however there was a momentary blur of tears—call it a coping mechanism. The driver and his helper, who turned out to be his nephew, were from Wisconsin and Calvin and Vicki were his first load. The process went smoothly with the driver expecting to head west Sunday after picking up a couple more loads. It was one thing to watch the moving van pull up to the house, but I didn’t want to be there to watch it pull away. I had taken a half day from work and it was time to get to the office. After saying “Thank you” and “Safe travels” to driver Dave, I left for work—call it a coping mechanism.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Cookware
It’s not as fun as a trip to Europe. It’s not as cool as a new car. But it is practical and affordable and as The Mom, a single parent of two boys, I am all about sound, sensible investments. (Maybe too much sometimes.) But cookware seemed like the perfect graduation gift for my son and his fiancée as they prepare to move across the country and set up their apartment. I am a Mom who loves to cook and I have always enjoyed cooking for my family, who, by the way, is a family who loves to eat. I learned from the best—my own mother.
Our family, like many, has favorite recipes: old standards like meat loaf and beef stew; recipes that have been handed down like chili, meatball stroganoff and sour cream pound cake; kid-friendly staples like beans and franks and macaroni and cheese; and new acquisitions from our blended family like pecan pie and pineapple soufflé. These dishes and many more are some of my kids’ favorites. Calvin took a few of these recipes to college with him, but he approached me recently and said he wants to take the whole collection to Seattle!
I guess one blog leads to another. I decided I might as well start a recipe blog so that my kids could have access to them, plus add their own. They seemed enthused about the idea, so coming soon: Family Recipe Blog. (I hope to have a much more creative title when I launch!)
The cookware? I am still using my original set of Revere Ware, which is now over 30 years old. Unfortunately, the quality of today’s Revere Ware doesn’t measure up, so after quite a bit of research, I ordered a 10-piece set of Calphalon Contemporary Stainless Steel.
PS July 22 -- Of course, the cookware arrived one day after the moving van left. So it will now be the first package Calvin and Vicki receive at their new apartment in Seattle.
Our family, like many, has favorite recipes: old standards like meat loaf and beef stew; recipes that have been handed down like chili, meatball stroganoff and sour cream pound cake; kid-friendly staples like beans and franks and macaroni and cheese; and new acquisitions from our blended family like pecan pie and pineapple soufflé. These dishes and many more are some of my kids’ favorites. Calvin took a few of these recipes to college with him, but he approached me recently and said he wants to take the whole collection to Seattle!
I guess one blog leads to another. I decided I might as well start a recipe blog so that my kids could have access to them, plus add their own. They seemed enthused about the idea, so coming soon: Family Recipe Blog. (I hope to have a much more creative title when I launch!)
The cookware? I am still using my original set of Revere Ware, which is now over 30 years old. Unfortunately, the quality of today’s Revere Ware doesn’t measure up, so after quite a bit of research, I ordered a 10-piece set of Calphalon Contemporary Stainless Steel.
PS July 22 -- Of course, the cookware arrived one day after the moving van left. So it will now be the first package Calvin and Vicki receive at their new apartment in Seattle.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The Beach Habit
Like many families in the mid-Atlantic we like to vacation at the Outer Banks, NC. At one time, my family’s beach of choice was Ocean City, MD, but that was during my growing up, college and early adulthood years: the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. In 1990, when Calvin was two and I was pregnant with my youngest son Corey, we went to the Outer Banks for the first time and fell in love with the beautiful beaches and quiet family atmosphere. We made the Outer Banks a habit over the next six years.
After my parents retired, they sold my childhood home in Maryland and moved to Orlando, Florida in 1995. A new job had taken my brother and his wife to central Florida in 1989 so my parents, my boys and I had already enjoyed a number of family trips to the land of sunshine, palm trees, and theme parks. For the next eleven years after my parents' move, Florida became our second home. The kids and I spent as much time as my vacation schedule would allow, visiting my parents during Christmas and the summer break from school.
Things came full circle in 2006, when my brother was transferred to NC. With him came our elderly father, as our mother had passed away in 2000. Summer of 2006 took us back to the beaches of the Outer Banks and once again, we’ve made it a habit for these past five years.
Many of my fondest memories from childhood and beyond are from vacations with my family. Before taking off for Seattle, Calvin made one last trip to see his grandfather. During that visit, he asked him what his favorite memory was. My dad replied that it was a beach trip we took to Ocean City when I was about 14 and my brother 16. We invited our two cousins and two friends. My parents were brave enough to take six teenagers to the beach for a week and apparently we made it a very memorable event!
My kids have often told me that some of their best memories are from our family vacations. As kids get ready to embrace adulthood, I think some of the most important things to take with them are things that won’t fit into a suitcase or box. Good memories are one of those things.
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