Dear Calvin and Vicki,
I’ve come full circle with my stories as your wedding day, June 26, 2011, marks the one-year anniversary of the day I began this blog.
I think the week leading up to your wedding encapsulates life so well that a backward glance at several stand out moments offers me an opportunity to share my perspective on commitment and marriage.
Monday “Snoopy” Our sweet puppy dog has cancer.
Expect the unexpected. Marriage is about weathering storms together. When life brings bad news, give each other permission to adjust to it in their own way. Be each others' rock, shelter, shoulder to cry on, comforter, advocate. Hold each other. Help each other. Be there for each other.
Tuesday “Taking the Red-eye” Some nights are not meant for getting enough sleep.
Sleepless nights. They happen to everyone due to sickness, worry, anxiety, emotions, work, babies, teenagers. The frequency of these nights seems to escalate once you have children. Strive to stay healthy—physically, emotionally, and mentally. Do it for yourself first, then your mate. Marriage is about diplomacy and resolution. Try not to let the sun set on an argument. Talk to each other when something is bothering you. Honest communication without judgment is key for a long and happy marriage.
Wednesday “Homecoming” Calvin and Corey both arrived home today.
Marriage is about becoming a family. Starting new traditions. Marriage is about balance, consideration, respect and kindness. You are two unique people who have chosen to spend the rest of your lives together. Accept that you will think, feel, believe and behave differently from each other. Rejoice in the differences. Count your blessings. Stay close to your parents and siblings—they are your roots. Love your children unconditionally—they are your branches.
Thursday “Spicy Wings” Calvin and Corey order fifty wings with too much kick in the wing sauce at BWW. They manage to eat most of them.
Marriage is about romance and spark. Life gets routine, predictable. Sometimes you have to work at having and being fun. A successful marriage is not always up to the other person. Do things together but develop separate interests too—then you’ll always have something to talk about!
Friday “Bachelor Party” Henry, thankfully, volunteered to drive the bus. Enough said.
On a day when most responsible acts went out the window, it’s worth remembering that marriage is about responsibility and commitment. Take ownership of your actions; never make something out to be the other person’s fault when it’s really yours. Marriage is about forgiveness and giving grace to your spouse daily. Apologize when you’re wrong. Learn to let go.
Saturday “The Wrong Direction” After leaving the wedding rehearsal early, Henry and I head west on I-70 instead of east, all the way to Hagerstown before realizing our mistake. We, the hosts, are the last to arrive at the rehearsal dinner.
You’ll make plans. You’ll have ideas about your future. You’ll predict life’s path. And then it all turns out differently. Marriage is about flexibility. I’ve learned to appreciate the saying “Know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!” because it is so true. Uncle Kenny also has a favorite: “It’s not a problem. It’s an adventure.” So make plans, but embrace your adventures.
Sunday “Wedding Day” What a beautiful, perfect, fun day!
Marriage is about love and today we celebrated love! I’m so happy for you both and very proud of my son and new daughter-in-law. I think you are both well prepared to fly far.
Love,
Mom
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