The Daughter Collection

I have a daughter collection. I have two sons by birth, but through my previous marriage and a current serious relationship, I have acquired four stepdaughters. Soon I will add a daughter-in-law.

When I got married, two little girls, ages 7 and 6 came into my life and I loved them as if they were my own. Now, twenty-seven years later, I am still very close to the oldest, but after the youngest graduated from college in North Carolina, she found a job, married a local guy and decided to make it home. I seldom see her but hear news through her sister and I still send cards on her birthday and Christmas.

After marrying and enjoying my new family for a few years, we added Calvin and Corey to the mix. Even though the girls were somewhat older than the boys, I always encouraged the four kids to stay close, for besides their biological parents, they were each others closest blood relatives. This message became even more important after the girls became estranged from their father, whom I eventually divorced. I’ve often told my oldest step-daughter that family is not necessarily what you’re born into, it’s who you find along the way.

In 2002 Henry came into my life. He has two daughters, the same ages as my two sons. By this time though, our kids were teenagers and as teenagers are inclined, they were too entrenched in their own worlds to be particularly interested in each other. Besides, Henry’s daughters lived with their mother in Virginia and he visited them at their family home or at his home, also in Virginia, so there wasn’t a lot of opportunity to really get to know them before they went off to college. College brings a lot of changes and even though I still don’t see them often, I feel like we’ve gotten to know each other a little better through the college years.

Thursday was my future daughter-in-law’s birthday. Sadly, her parents missed her last birthday in Maryland before the big move and I know that was hard for all of them. (They were at her brother’s college orientation.) We took her out to dinner and I celebrated her with a toast to daughters. My daughters all have a story to tell. For some, I may be a big part of the story and for others perhaps a minor role. Family is not necessarily what you’re born into, it’s who you find along the way. I found five daughters.